This applies specifically to when you feel negativity and bad feelings building up for no particular reason, or when someone says or does something that creates a disproportionately strong negative reaction in you that doesn’t make sense. I’m not talking about serious abuse, I’m talking about times when someone looks at you funny, says something a certain way, says a particular word or phrase, or behaves in a certain way (this applies to things online too) and it just creates all this negativity and awfulness within yourself.
If you can, go somewhere where you can sit and be alone without being bothered. If you can’t do that, just hold off on reacting and try to find a place where you can for 5-10 mins or so.
Close your eyes and focus on the feeling, the actual physical sensation of the negativity you’re experiencing.
Find WHERE it’s coming from, like literally what part of your body that sensation is happening in mostly.
Now simply focus as much of your attention as you possibly can on the SENSATION of it… DONT THINK ABOUT IT… your thinking will get wrapped up in the negativity and start concocting all kinds of stories about it and soon enough it will become a woe is me victim narrative that will just make you feel worse… if you can’t stop your mind, try to just ignore it and keep your attention on the physical sensation of the negativity inside yourself instead.
Your thinking and your awareness are NOT the same thing. You can be aware without thinking. There is a big difference.
You want to have your awareness be the main thing that is focusing on the negativity… thoughts will try to get between your awareness and the negativity, but your awareness is more powerful, your thoughts will only ally with the negativity.
Hold your attention on the feeling for as long as you can, and if you do this right, you will start to notice that the negativity is dissolving and getting less intense.
If you hold it long enough you will eventually feel the negativity basically disappear and you will feel normal again or maybe even feel pretty good!
This is a practice called dissolving the pain body and it is very similar to shadow work.
What is going on here is that you are reclaiming lost split off parts of yourself and reintegrating them back into your awareness.
These split off parts of yourself are called your shadow and they are formed when someone or something traumatizes you from behaving a certain way… usually when you were a kid.
Example: you are 10 years old and playing with your friends and you start talking in a really silly way, like with some strange kind of intonation on your voice that makes you laugh.
Then an adult (maybe a parent or whoever) yells at you “STOP MAKING THAT STUPID VOICE!”…
This really freaks you out to have an adult yelling at you randomly while you were having fun…
So your mind decides “I can’t make that voice again or else I’ll make people mad”…
Now that part of yourself that was enjoying making that silly voice now becomes ‘banished’ so to speak from your normal awareness and way of behaving… including possibly some other things you were doing when you were making that silly voice that became lumped together and banished as well.
Now fast forward to when you are an adult somewhere…
You hear someone making a stupid voice in a room and all of a sudden you feel this nasty negativity inside of you.
But then you remember what Astral Tate said and so you go somewhere alone so you can feel this negativity.
What is happening is that banished part of you is now banging on the doors of your conscious mind saying “REMEMBER ME?! YOU THREW ME OUT OF THE HOUSE LONG AGO YOU FUCKING DICK! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? I HATE YOU!!!’
It’s like a child throwing a tantrum, screaming and crying and angry at how it was left out in the cold for so many years.
But when you let that tantrum throwing child back into the house (by putting your full attention on that negative feeling inside you without judging it or thinking about it)… you effectively hold that screaming child in a non judgmental loving embrace (your awareness and full attention) and by allowing it to scream, cry, kick and freak out (allowing that nasty negative feeling to just be and feeling it as fully as you can) it eventually calms down, and now feels welcome being inside the house again (reintegrated into your consciousness).
Now most likely if you did this effectively, the next time you hear someone making a stupid voice like that again, you won’t feel any strong negative reaction. You will be free of that trigger.
Doing this regularly whenever this happened to me got rid of so many triggers I had, and it also gave me more energy!
Since these are split off parts of ourselves, when we reintegrate them back into our consciousness (let them back into the house) they can help out around the house more! They can’t help with shit if they are locked outside your whole life! Lol. They will only cause more shit to happen, maybe egg your house, smash your windows, steal from you or do all kinds of bad stuff. Let them in, hear them out, don’t judge them and accept them as they are… then they will be happy to help around the house if you let them express all the pent up emotion they feel after having been kicked out of those for years and years.
Feel your feelings y’all.
If you want more clarification about this book a reading with me or send me an email. :)
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